This is how blondes use their laptop
Flickr Photos
Category Archives: toogood
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”
“Shut up,” she says. “You’re next.”
There was 3 girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. and they found a pyramid. they read a tablet that said “this is the pyramid of 100 steps. if you
get to the top of it, you will get what you’ve wanted all your life. but be warned, every 5 steps a person will pop out and tell a joke, and if you laugh, you can never try again.”
so the brunette gets to the 5th step and laughs, so she could never try again.
the red head got to the 20th step and laughed, so she could never try again.
then the blonde got to the 99th step and laughed. then the guy who was going to tell the joke said “why did you laugh, i didnt tell the joke yet.” then the blonde said “i know, i laughed because i just got the first joke!”
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret.
I dont know about that, answered a blonde woman guest. I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.
Youll let it out some day, the man insisted.
I hardly think so responded the blonde lady. When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.
As they’re driving home they’re really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend ans says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?”
The girlfriend says, “Wow! It’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”
A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
“I finished the exam in a half hour,” she replies. “And as I have more time left, I’m rechecking my answers.”
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
“It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried.
“Honey,” said Dan, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!”
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a large truck. The driver was outraged and was eventually able to make her pull over.
He got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde in his most threatening voice, “Stand in that circle and DON’T MOVE!”
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, “Oh you think that’s funny? Watch this!”
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
Now he’s getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now she’s laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets an extra can of diesel fuel, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
“What’s so funny?” the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped outside the circle!”
Two blondes meet in Heaven. “How did you die?”, the first one asks.”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?” The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!”
A recent survey was conducted to discover why blondes get out of bed in the middle of the night:
– 5% said it was to get a glass of water.
– 12% said it was to go to the toilet.
– 83% said it was to go home.
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
“You need to make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said.
“Try playing a game of fetch with him.”
“I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said. “Why not?” the doctor asked.
“Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw.”
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry … we can fly just fine on two engines.”
An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry … we still have one engine left.”
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”
“Shut up,” she says. “You’re next.”
Blonde Jokes - too funny to hold 